At the church that I am interning at, we are going through a series called "Stories." It is what you might think it is, people telling their stories, or stories from the bible. The stories are about how individuals came to meet Jesus and trust in His grace. The outline of a story is this : Before Jesus, meeting Jesus, after Jesus. Today I want to share my story. Anyone else is welcome to share their story also.
Before I met Jesus I lived for my own pleasures and fulfillment. I did what I thought was right in my own eyes, never considering the feelings or rights of others. Even as a kid I did what I wanted and I didn't let others stand in my way. I was out to get the most out of life. I was rebellious to my parents and to authority. I listened if it gave pleasure or prevented displeasure. My life was about me and what I wanted from it. A story that I always remember when talking about my life before meeting Jesus is when I was about 6 years old. My mom saw me playing near the window and I said “Oh my god” she immediately told me not to say that, told me that it was wrong. Then I, being the rebellious 6 year old that I was waited until she was out of ear shot and said it to myself for the pleasure of disobedience. right after that the window pinched my finger. I thought to myself, “God punished me for disobeying my parents.” even at age 6, its a story that I will always remember.
In most of these situations that I acted out, I was well aware of what I was doing. I knew that I could get what I wanted if I complained long and hard enough. I disobeyed God and purposefully broke His standards; I disregarded my parents and yelled at my siblings because it gave me temporary pleasure. I did anything to find or obtain satisfaction, even for a moment. Yet, every time I looked for pleasure outside of God I only felt less satisfied and more empty.
That all changed when God stepped into the picture. God did not want that life for me. God desired to give me a life that I had never experienced filled with joy, peace and satisfaction in Him. God brought a guy named Caleb into my life to listen to my story. Not only that, but he shared his story and ultimately God's story, which eventually changed my story. When Caleb and I talked, we mostly talked about spiritual matters. I was torn after our conversations. I wanted this God he kept talking about, but I still wanted the life of pleasure I had. I wanted the satisfaction of following Jesus and the pleasure of living for myself.
Caleb invited me to hear him share his story and at that point I broke down. Caleb shared how he surrendered his life to Christ and the freedom he now has. I wanted that. I didn't want to be chained to my own pleasure any more. I wanted to be free. I broke down and started to cry over my own failure and sins. I started to cry out to God.
I did not change overnight. I didn't give up all my sins that night when I met God. At age 13, I didn't know anything when I started following Christ. But I felt a new sense of peace that I didn't have before. I began to give rather than take, and I didn't know why. I no longer fought for what I wanted; instead I fought to keep peace in the situation. God’s work in me has been a long process. I have not arrived yet, I still have a long way to go, but God is leading me through His Spirit. I am satisfied when I follow him and find greater pleasure than I thought possible by following His will.
